I have been going through this with my spiritual path as well as I'm deconstructing. For a while I was trying to hold all the practices so closely. Then I finally accepted that I am enough just as I am, just as I've always been. It's been amazing to see how practices and beloved stories from all throughout my life have been echoing back to me. Writing, singing, photography, and all the rest. Thanks for these words, Eryn.
Yesss and so many head nods as i read and felt into your words. This is what spirituality means to me, it’s being present and holding all of my parts and not abandoning myself and not running from my feelings and also stepping away from my tools (tarot, reiki, Breathwork, ancestral work) when i am feeling a disconnect that only being with the discomfort of said disconnect can offer. That is magic to me. I’ve found that when I don’t pull tarot cards for a long while they are always with me. Guiding me. I don’t need a daily card pull bc the practice i carry within me and that matters more then the card of the day. I enjoy your writing excited to read your other pieces. 💜
I haven't pulled tarot cards in a while, and I think you just explained why: I've been so caught up in trying to support the everyday that I've lost sight of expansiveness, and perhaps my unconscious recognizes it, but it took reading your post to bring it out consciously. You've left me a lot to think about with this one, Eryn.
Yes yes 1000 times yes! I understand this so deeply and so appreciate you putting such beautiful language around it! We can just sort of summarize up in one word right? FEEL! 
This was a lovely reflection to read. Thank you for sharing. I’ve been considering how my spirituality has changed over the last decade, from devout Christian to atheist to Buddhist to where I am now and I resonated deeply with the moment you realized “It was time to light the matches.” Last year, I went through a series of events that forced me into the “discomfort of honesty and change.” I’m still learning how to be comfortable with such uncomfortable, often volatile emotions that come with such honesty and commitment, and I expect to continue learning this until I leave this earth. But, the commitment to live life as fully as possible and to honor both where I’m at in my journey and where I want to be is what spirituality means to me, currently. Looking forward to future essays.
another beautiful essay, Eryn. Thank you for this reflection. I've been thinking a lot about what spirituality means to me, about what rituals and practices I want to carry with me daily. I used to pull tarot cards every day and that's faded, and I feel like I beat myself up over it at first, thinking that I was moving further away from my spirituality. But now I realize that certain practices like tarot will continue to serve me when I need them, and I don't have to continue pulling cards just for the ritual of pulling them. I think about Mary Oliver's poem - "instructions for living a life: pay attention. be astonished. tell about it." This is what I've been reflecting on when I think about spirituality: paying attention. I keep getting the message to slow down, to really *look* at what's around me, what's inside of me. To pay attention to messages from the universe, from nature, that exist everywhere.
When I was in my “spirituality” phase I found myself also leaning into over consumption and the “things” and activities that I felt made the practice. I guess I’m finally realizing now I used it as another crutch to hide from my the uncomfy feelings. Because of that I can honestly say I’m much better without it (only because I didn’t just replace it with another crutch). Though I kinda wanna try again with a different mindset. But who know
I have been going through this with my spiritual path as well as I'm deconstructing. For a while I was trying to hold all the practices so closely. Then I finally accepted that I am enough just as I am, just as I've always been. It's been amazing to see how practices and beloved stories from all throughout my life have been echoing back to me. Writing, singing, photography, and all the rest. Thanks for these words, Eryn.
Yesss and so many head nods as i read and felt into your words. This is what spirituality means to me, it’s being present and holding all of my parts and not abandoning myself and not running from my feelings and also stepping away from my tools (tarot, reiki, Breathwork, ancestral work) when i am feeling a disconnect that only being with the discomfort of said disconnect can offer. That is magic to me. I’ve found that when I don’t pull tarot cards for a long while they are always with me. Guiding me. I don’t need a daily card pull bc the practice i carry within me and that matters more then the card of the day. I enjoy your writing excited to read your other pieces. 💜
I haven't pulled tarot cards in a while, and I think you just explained why: I've been so caught up in trying to support the everyday that I've lost sight of expansiveness, and perhaps my unconscious recognizes it, but it took reading your post to bring it out consciously. You've left me a lot to think about with this one, Eryn.
Yes yes 1000 times yes! I understand this so deeply and so appreciate you putting such beautiful language around it! We can just sort of summarize up in one word right? FEEL! 
This is so wonderful. Thank you. <3
This was a lovely reflection to read. Thank you for sharing. I’ve been considering how my spirituality has changed over the last decade, from devout Christian to atheist to Buddhist to where I am now and I resonated deeply with the moment you realized “It was time to light the matches.” Last year, I went through a series of events that forced me into the “discomfort of honesty and change.” I’m still learning how to be comfortable with such uncomfortable, often volatile emotions that come with such honesty and commitment, and I expect to continue learning this until I leave this earth. But, the commitment to live life as fully as possible and to honor both where I’m at in my journey and where I want to be is what spirituality means to me, currently. Looking forward to future essays.
another beautiful essay, Eryn. Thank you for this reflection. I've been thinking a lot about what spirituality means to me, about what rituals and practices I want to carry with me daily. I used to pull tarot cards every day and that's faded, and I feel like I beat myself up over it at first, thinking that I was moving further away from my spirituality. But now I realize that certain practices like tarot will continue to serve me when I need them, and I don't have to continue pulling cards just for the ritual of pulling them. I think about Mary Oliver's poem - "instructions for living a life: pay attention. be astonished. tell about it." This is what I've been reflecting on when I think about spirituality: paying attention. I keep getting the message to slow down, to really *look* at what's around me, what's inside of me. To pay attention to messages from the universe, from nature, that exist everywhere.
When I was in my “spirituality” phase I found myself also leaning into over consumption and the “things” and activities that I felt made the practice. I guess I’m finally realizing now I used it as another crutch to hide from my the uncomfy feelings. Because of that I can honestly say I’m much better without it (only because I didn’t just replace it with another crutch). Though I kinda wanna try again with a different mindset. But who know