Doing the things that are good for us and balancing multiple inner parent selves
brought to you by: winter sunset hikes
I’m going to John Heinz, a national wildlife refuge outside Philly, to see the sunset every week this winter. I’m going for a few reasons, all of which boil down to: winter is hard, and also beautiful. Being in nature helps me move my body (walking and hiking), experience awe (watching the starlings do their murmurations over the sunset!), disconnect from screens, feel more of a sense of peace, and get inspired (I get ideas! I get unstuck in my writing! I dream!).
me @ the sunset: “you’re like, really pretty.”
I’ve been sticking to my once-a-week sunset goal, and it’s felt really good. It also has me thinking: why don’t I do the things that are good for me more often?
I went through a period that I think started out helpful and turned out not so helpful when it dragged on too long, where I told myself yes to literally anything I wanted. Yes to afternoon dessert, yes to staying up late, yes to saying yes to everything because it’ll be fun even though I’m tired, yes to laying in bed instead of going on a walk. Yes to every whim.
I believe that sometimes when we’re healing from trauma as was the case for me we can really benefit from that gentle, permissive parent self: yes, do what you need, I love you, I support you no matter what. That’s where it started. But at a certain point I stopped needing that and needed more of my inner I-love-you-and-get-out-of-bed-say-no-to-yourself-sometimes parent to help me do things that would make me feel good in the long term, not just the short term.
Because that’s the thing, right? In the moment, I might just want to stay inside. It’s cold out. It’s cozy in here. But when I make myself get up, drive 20 minutes, and take a sunset hike, it’s so, so much better than being inside. It’s nourishing on multiple levels. And, I find that feeling good feeds itself - the more I go, the more I want to go.
obsessed with the golden hour cattails
I think there’s a balance to be found that I’m still looking for of when to say yes and when to say no to myself, when to let feeling good in the short term override the long term and when to take that bigger picture view. But I no longer think that listening to my body, doing self-care, etc. means always telling myself yes.
Curious about your experience with this, especially in winter, and in balancing those two inner parents!
With care,
Eryn